What expectations do you have? For yourself? For your team? For your organization?
Anne Lamott says, “Expectations are just resentments under construction.” How often do our unmet expectations for both events and other people turn into resentment?
Clint Murphy wrote about expectations in one of his recent newsletters and offered this “hack to happiness”:
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Reduce your expectations
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Train yourself to notice your expectations
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When you have expectations, communicate them
The simplicity of this 3-step check-in resonated with our team here at Avenue 8. We often fail to communicate our expectations, assuming other people think the same way we do or know what we know. (The Hogan Assessment, an excellent tool we use in our coaching practice, is particularly good at helping you see these blindspots.) We can’t begin to communicate our expectations, though, if we don’t even realize we have them. Take a few minutes to identify what expectations you’re holding for those around you. Are they reasonable? Are there too many?
Once you know what your expectations are, is there a way to clearly tell others what you expect of them? As Brené Brown reminds us, “Clear is kind,” because it is unkind to leave people guessing about what you expect them to do, especially if you will later resent them for not being aware.
Ultimately, we’re happier when we stop expecting unreasonable things from ourselves and others. When we can tune in enough to notice our expectations and communicate them well, life, projects, programs, and teams run better.
For a more visual representation of this idea, Ben Winter from Success Improv has created the helpful graphic below.
At Avenue 8 Advisors we have a team of certified coaches ready to help. Contact us to find out how we can help you.